How To Flirt With Your Wife

To paraphrase The Righteous Brothers (and Top Gun’s Maverick), it’s easy to lose that loving feeling in even the strongest of relationships. But just because you’ve said “I do” doesn’t mean you can’t woo your lady in the way she deserves.


The most basic principle underpinning all forms of flirting, from pulling Mary Jane’s pigtails in fourth grade to exchanging bon mots over cocktails at a dinner party, is attention. Specifically, showering attention on her to make her feel as special as she is to you. Just because you put a ring on it doesn’t mean these tried-and-true techniques should fall by the wayside. Make sure you aren’t dividing your attention between your phone, the football game on TV, and dinner, with her as a distant afterthought. Fully commit to the flirt.


While you want to go the extra mile to impress your wife and make her feel special, remember she fell in love with you—not some cheesy, bizarro version of yourself. Pay the missus the compliments and treat her the same way you did when you won her over, and don’t try to become a completely different person. Unless…


…you think she’d be into that! While it may strike you as an exercise in corniness and awkwardness, many couples spice things up by agreeing to go to a bar or restaurant separately and then “meeting” as pretend strangers. Role-playing like this may feel silly at first (and is definitely not for everyone), but nothing says “I love you” like remembering the first time your eyes locked across the room as your personal power ballad blasted on the jukebox, then repeating the line that swept her off her feet both then—and now.


Most women (and men too) enjoy appropriate public displays of affection, so sending flowers to her work so her colleagues can see how much she is adored is a good call. Even something as simple and elegant as telling her you love her in front of your friends or holding her hand as you walk down the street is something that should send her heart aflutter.

This post was derived from “The Official Handybook for Men” by James Ellis. For more handy tips, you can purchase the book from our online store.